I’ve realized something in a lot more depth just recently. Whenever someone I care about is sinking deeper under the waves I will send down an oxygen tank and a long rope and I’ll start to help them back up to the surface. I won’t rest, pause, slow down, or let them let go until I can give them the final push and see their head breach the surface. I won’t rest until they breathe in the fresh cool air and only then will I take a moment to rest until I see the waves start crashing into someone’s head as they begin to slip under the surface and take a deep breath to try and keep going.
This however isn’t my realization, my realization is the fact that I give them a final push up towards the surface. The thing is that when they reach the surface they are far above me which is why I can’t pull them the final way up. I pull them as far as I can and then as they pass me I position myself under them so that I can push on their feet and help them taste the salty air once again. The sad thing is that I’ve been submerged for a long time and over the past couple years I’ve had to push their feet upwards farther and farther from the waves as I continue to sink deeper into the quiet depths below.
I don’t know if I will ever taste the salty air again, or feel the cool air fill my lungs and blow across my face. I’ve been under for too long and I’m afraid that if I were to surface I would lose sight of everyone still struggling to reach the surface. The only thing that has kept me from sinking faster is the fact that my friends that are above me or next to me often help hold me steady, but it’s not enough to hold me for long since they are also trying to breathe again and keep living their lives.